I've been doing a lot of consoling as of late in helping folks to understand the benefits of confronting. I was once told to not confront, not antagonize, and to always be uplifting. Well, truth be told, that doesn't work. That is skating around the issues and not bringing resolve. It is pacifying the issues with what people want to hear. The truth is, what people need to hear, is often what they don't want to hear, so that requires confrontation.

I break confrontation down into small wins. If I confront a person, and if I don't win the holy guacamole, so what? It isn't the big win that I am after. It is the small win because it is a small concession. A small concession is better than no concession at all. Right?

But here is the mystery to it all in terms of motion.

Once a person gives in or allows self to move a little bit on a subject, in time, that person may come to accept that concession. When that happens, the person might just be likely, in time, to accept another concession.

You see? We all have fear, and the easiest, but not necessarily the most profitable, stance is to be absolutely against something, and without information to take a lesser stance, then the absolute stance remains. This is not healthy nor a healthy mind.

However, when a person's mind concedes a little bit and takes away absoluteness from one's own absolute position, then that new information, which is supposed to be healthy information, comes in to help that person be a little bit more moderate in one's stance.

From that progress has been made and confrontation becomes that much less "confrontational".

When your mind is set upon an "all or nothing" win, then the risk is "all or nothing", and the emotions either great fear or great hope. If you sense that you can not win it all, then your emotion will be great fear of confrontation.

But if you have a small win, then it is a small risk, and it is a small fear. Break it down, man. Make it easier on yourself and be happy with the small win! :D <3

The term "moderate" comes from a host of other cool "m" type terms ... so check them out below!