Lines in the Sand

LINES IN THE SAND

I suppose what tires my spirit so often is spiritual warfare.

I mean, I don't think of myself as like a spiritual giant warrior who draws lines in the sand and tells Satan and his legions that the buck stops here ... though probably I should be ... or, perhaps, I should become ... but, no, currently, I am just a guy who goes about my day doing my things and praying, as I can remember, for those who've requested prayer of me or of those I have offered prayer to.

However, I am what some call an Empath, which came upon me in what seemed like full force about six years ago. As a side note, we all are Empaths for how else would we be able to "feel" for God, such as the Apostle puts it to his audience in the Scriptures?

Acts 17:27-28 "That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us: for in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring."

"Live, move, and have our being" correspond to "feel" in those verses.

So, yes, I do "feel" willed events that are directed at me. And even though I strive to live and move and have my being in God himself, I still, at times, "feel" the ways that others live and move and have their beings regarding me. And it's not an always thing with me that I feel every thought that comes my way about me.

No. I think it is more of an intensity thing. If the will is intense, then I feel it more. However, if I am dull or the intensity is dull, then I also feel it less if at all.

Now, being an Empath is like this ... it is like I experience the effect of something emotional that I did not create with my own will. Someone else willed it. I felt it. In simple terms, someone else moved towards me in their spirit, and I felt the impression of that person's will upon me. If you have ever experienced the saying, "Your ears are burning.", then that's around about of what I mean.

For instance, if someone is angry with me, and I feel it but no one in my immediate life is angry with me (that I [for sure] know of), then I am feeling someone else from somewhere else who is angry at me. It could also be the other extreme that someone is loving me. It could even be that someone is just simply thinking of me one way or another.

I remember once when Holly had texted me. The phone was across the room, and I already knew there were to be three texts sent. So, because of that, I told myself to not even bother getting up until the last text came through because "Why bother?" is what I thought.

Sure enough, the empathy that I had felt was perfectly correct. I waited for the next text message, and it came. I waited for the third, and it came. Then I got up and read the messages. She didn't send anymore. It was just those three.

So in physical terms, it is like I smelt pizza in the middle of the desert. Then the smell disappears suddenly. But I knew for sure, for sure, for sure that I smelt pizza. The memory of it was faint and tapers off almost as suddenly as it comes, and that is how Empathy can be. Other times, it can linger for hours if not days.

Being an Empath is much like that. I know for certain what I felt, the feeling can linger or it can disappear, but I know that I know that I know what I had felt.

But empathy can be devastating to my inner person. It can literally wear me out, which is why I go to God in prayer about it because I sometimes don't know what it means.

I have said before and will say it again that being an Empath drives me to prayer because I don't know what it all means, especially, when someone is upset with me. That type of empathy is so tiring.

Now, as a relief, at times, I have stood my ground, drawn lines in the sand, and said to that other person willing this or that that the buck stops here, and you know what? The vibes stopped. The motion that I was feeling stopped nearly in its tracks.

It is something like what Paul, the Apostle, had experienced in a different situation where he had tolerated a woman who was possessed and had divination, but in that situation she was present with him in the physical.

As it was, he had tolerated her praises of him and his company for many days until he had finally tired of her heraldings of him. My thought is that she was using Paul's reputation in order to build her own.

Acts 16:16-18 "And it came to pass, as we went to prayer, a certain damsel possessed with a spirit of divination met us, which brought her masters much gain by soothsaying: The same followed Paul and us, and cried, saying, These men are the servants of the most high God, which shew unto us the way of salvation. And this did she many days. But Paul, being grieved, turned and said to the spirit, I command thee in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her. And he came out the same hour."

Notice there that Paul was "grieved".

That term "grieve" is related to the terms "grave" and "groove", which meant that her actions had brought him very low and had weighed him down. She depressed him. She was moving her will to basically stand upon his and to exalt herself in the name of exalting Paul and God.

The point, for me, in this post, is that her actions grieved Paul, and, also, he cast that spirit out of her, which is, he put on his warrior face, drew a line in the sand, and told that spirit where to go.

And Empathy, to me, can be much like that. After much time of allowing certain emotions to ride upon me, my armor comes on, I begin to draw lines in the sand, and the sword of my spirit, which are my words, they begin to form in order to defend myself against that will or even those other wills as it could be a consortium of will power against me.

As it is anymore, I am getting a bit more touchy than Paul had been. I am tending to no longer feel like shouldering the weight of the burden of how others feel about me in negative ways. I feel things like that, and I am tired of things like that shadowing my daily life.

For the world, they seem to use other methods of dealing with these things such as crystals or whatever it is that they do.

For me, my power is in my words, and I am getting to the point that I am using them more than I have before.

Perhaps, starting life as the shyest, quietest kid on the block is changing that I will become, perhaps, the openest, noisiest kid on the block as I exit this life.

Whatever that may be, if I am to feel things, then my time better not be wasted with the petty crap that people can take elsewhere. I think that I'll just reverse the flow of empathy and send it back where it comes from when it is hateful or argumentative. I'm really just so tired of it.